


Promise

by GothicBarbie



Series: Stole My Heart [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Anger, Angst, Bedroom Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Chaptered, Cheating, Crying, Fights, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Flashbacks, Friendship, Happy Ending, Hurt, Kissing, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Rimming, Romance, Sex, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-22 13:47:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicBarbie/pseuds/GothicBarbie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry comes home after five years to discover that the love of his life has moved on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm American, therefor I wrote this before i thought about how the English school system works.
> 
> So any flashbacks are in time with American schooling, which starts in September and ends in June... just fyi. :) I know this doesn't really make sense and i apologize for being such a dummy but well... it is what it is.

The sight of him is enough to throw Liam’s entire universe out of focus.

One second he’s walking out of the grocery store and to his car, thinking about what he’s going to make for dinner that night, the next, he finds himself frozen, unable to move, facing the person he least expected to run into again. It’s been five years. Five _long fucking_ years and Liam would be lying to himself if he said he’d never thought about the guy within that time. Probably more than he’d like. If he could move, he would run; run far, far, away and never look back. Liam made a promise to himself long ago that he would never ever get sucked back in.

But he is standing right here, staring right at him and there’s nowhere for Liam to go.

 

 

He only says one word.

“Liam?”

He looks different, older. Better too, but Liam banishes the thought away immediately.

“Harry.”

Liam thinks of how to continue but his mind can’t form any words. Harry leans forward, as if he’s about to hug Liam, but he hesitates and flinches back. He smiles at Liam; that same sweet smile that Liam was so used to seeing everyday for 10 years before Harry up and left.

“How have you been?” Harry asks. And it feels weird, forced.

How has he been? The question elicits many responses from Liam but he keeps them all internalized. He ignores the question completely.

“What are you doing here Harry?”

Liam could see Harry take a breath, his eyes shifting slightly.

Three words. It took three words to unravel everything.

“I moved back.”

 

 

 

“You moved back?”

Harry can tell that Liam is uncomfortable. He can’t exactly blame him. The last time they spoke things weren’t exactly… cordial. But, it’s been five years and Harry had hoped that maybe Liam would have forgiven him by now. In the last five years they’d only seen each other once; at Liam’s father’s funeral. Harry had flown back down for the week. They hadn’t spoken. Liam was obviously pre-occupied with other things, but Harry had hoped his presence had been enough. But that was two years ago. And Harry was tired of carrying the guilt around with him.

“Yeah… a week ago, actually.” Harry begins, he can see Liam’s face fall even further. “I tried emailing you, but I never got a response. And I didn’t have your number anymore. I even tried going by your old house, but I saw the ‘for sale’ sign outside.”

“Yeah,” Liam sighs. “Mom’s been trying to sell it for about 6 months now, with no luck.”

“I’m sorry. Why does she want to move? I always liked it there.”

Harry notices Liam avert his gaze at the last statement.

“Yeah, well, since I moved out it’s just too big of a space for her.” Liam responds curtly.

Harry is about to continue speaking, but before he has a chance to say anything he’s distracted by something when Liam brushes a curl out of his eyes. Harry’s stomach drops.

“Is that a ring?”

He doesn’t even realize he’s spoken out loud until Liam instinctively glances down at his hand. He takes another breath.

“Yeah… I’m engaged.”

 

 

 

\--

 

 

 

Liam waits for Harry to respond but he’s just standing there, staring at Liam’s ring and it makes him uncomfortable. He shouldn’t feel bad. Harry was the one that had fucked everything up between them years ago. Harry was the one that had moved away abruptly and never looked back. And now here he was standing in front of Liam and claiming that he had moved back for good? Liam wanted to ask why he was back, but he stopped himself. It didn’t matter anymore. Harry was no longer his concern. It’s been such a long time since they’d even seen each other, what exactly didn’t Harry expect? That he’d be alone forever? Liam was finally happy, and he wasn’t going to feel guilty about it.

Finally, Harry speaks.

“When’s the wedding?”

Liam hesitates. He hopes Harry doesn’t expect to be invited. “Umm… this Saturday, actually.”

Harry laughs and tries not to let Liam see the hurt in his eyes. “That’s… ironic.” Of course a week after Harry comes home, the love of his life (or ex-love of his life, he should say) is getting married to someone else. Just perfect.

“I’m really happy for you, Liam.”

The words feel wrong on Harry’s lips but he refuses to let Liam see his pain. He lost Liam a long time ago, and now Liam was happy with someone else, Harry would not ruin that for him.

“Listen… I should get going, I have to do a few other things today, but it was really nice seeing you again.” Harry cringes at all the cliché things coming out of his mouth but he doesn’t care. Right now he just has to get away. Maybe moving back here was a big mistake.

“Yeah,” Liam says, obviously relieved himself. “You too. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

Liam smiles at Harry briefly and heads towards his car. Harry continues walking the other direction, completely forgetting what he needed at the store to begin with. He goes inside and waits until he sees Liam drive off before exiting and rushing back to his own car as quickly as he can. The second he’s inside he pulls out his phone and dials his best friend Louis. He needs some emotional support right now. Louis picks up after 2 rings.

“What’s up Harry?”

Once he hears his best friends voice Harry tries his hardest not to break down right there in the parking lot.

“He’s fucking engaged!”

 

 

 

“Okay, calm down.” Louis says over the phone. It should help, Louis always knew exactly what to say, but somehow this feels like a much bigger problem than anything Harry’s faced before.

“Did you even hear what I said? He’s engaged Louis.” Harry takes a breath and waits for his best friend to respond.

“Okay. By ‘he’ I take it you mean Liam?”

Harry sighs loudly. Of course he means Liam; aka the only person he’s every spoken to Louis about. Harry tries not to freak out. He knows Lou is trying to lighten the conversation but he’s not in the mood.

“I shouldn’t have even come back. This was such a waste of time. I mean, what was I even thinking? To call him up and expect him to just instantly forgive me? I should just come home.”

“Are you kidding?” Now it’s Lou’s turn to yell. “Do you know how long I’ve had to listen to pine over this guy? And now, once you’ve finally listened to me and went back you want to run again? You promised me that you wouldn’t leave until you told him everything. So there is no way I’m letting you come back here so you can obsess over him for even longer. Just suck it up, Harold. Kiss him senseless if you have to. We all know you’re good at that.”

“But what if he doesn’t want me?” Harry continues “It’s been a long time. I should have known he would be happy with someone else. Even if he wasn’t he probably still wouldn’t want me. Too much has happened.”

“I don’t believe that. Anyone would be an idiot not to want you. You still have a chance.”

“What?” Harry almost screams into the phone. He’s _engaged._ Does Louis not understand what a huge deal this is?

“He’s engaged, Harold. Not married. There’s still time.”

Harry doesn’t respond. He needs time to think.

 

 

 

 

Liam comes home to his fiancé Zayn, whose busy talking to his parents on the phone. Liam gives him a weak smile, and then heads into the kitchen to unload the groceries. Liam can hear Zayn discussing the wedding and it makes Liam’s skin crawl. Up until today things were perfect. He loved Zayn. Zayn was a great guy. He was ready to get married and start planning their future. Why did he have to run into Harry today? There was less than a week until the wedding. He did not need this right now.

Liam puts the milk into the fridge and can’t help slamming it a little harder than normal. Harry just gets under his skin. It’s like a clock went off in his head and as soon as he knew that Liam was happy he came running back into his life.

Zayn walks into the room and Liam puts all his energy into forgetting about Harry. It’s harder than it seems.

“Everything okay?” Zayn asks tentatively. “I can hear you banging things around in here.” Zayn chuckles lightly, masking his concern.

Liam sighs quietly, then walks over to Zayn and puts his arms around his neck. “Yeah, I just had a long day.” Liam smiles at him softly and leans into kiss him, gently on the lips, then pulls away.

“You wanna talk about it?” Zayn asks, pulling Liam closer to him and winding his fingers into the back of his shirt.

“No, I think I just need to shower. Clear my head.”

“Okay.” Zayn says quietly and pulls away. Liam can tell that Zayn is hesitant to believe him, but Liam doesn’t care right now. This isn’t something he can talk to Zayn about. He had never told Zayn about Harry to begin with.

 

 

 

 

Later that night when Zayn is showering and getting ready for bed, Liam goes into his closet and pulls out and old box that’s labeled “family photos”. He scrambles to the bottom and pulls out a white envelope, a feint “H” scribbled on the top. It’s been ages since he’s looked in here. He knows he should have burned the envelope years ago, but he never had the courage. He scolds himself now for pulling it out again, but he can’t help it. Seeing Harry again stirred up all these old feelings and he can’t help but feel nostalgic. He flips through photo after photo, not being able to prevent the smile from creeping onto his face. He and Harry had met in the 3rd grade where they were paired for a project together. They’d instantly clicked and become best friends. Until things changed when they hit 12th grade and began dating.

Liam had to pause when he got to a particular photo. He remembered exactly when it was taken.

 

_It was the beginning of their senior year, Liam and Harry had been dating for almost 4 months. “Dating” was more a loose term considering they’d never exactly specified what they were. Maybe that was their first mistake._

_The alarm had gone off at 5:00 am. Normally Liam would never be up this early, not even on a school day, but he’d insisted that Harry left the house before his mom got up in the next hour. Liam had kept telling Harry that they couldn’t keep doing this; sneaking Harry in after midnight, staying up way too late doing things they should not be doing only a few rooms away from his parents, and sneaking him back out before school. But Harry was pretty impossible to resist._

_Harry reaches over Liam to hit the snooze button, then snuggles in close, wrapping one his arms underneath Liam, the other curling into Liam’s hair._

_“Harry, you have to go.”_

_“Mmmm.” Harry mumbles, barely moving. “But I’m so comfortable. Give me five more minutes…”_

_“Haz!” Liam laughs, pretending to rustle Harry but he doesn’t get very far and allows himself to sink back into his pillow. Watching Harry now, Liam wonders how he got so lucky._

_Liam sighs, running a hand over Harry’s back and closes his eyes. “I love you.” He mutters, before realizing that he’s spoken out loud._

_Harry instantly sits up, his hands stopped hard on Liam’s chest. “What did you say?”_

_Liam takes a breath, sits up a little straighter and looks Harry right in the eye._

_“I love you.” He repeats, slowly and louder this time. He waits for Harry to say something but no words come out his mouth. He instead responds by leaning forward and catching Liam’s lips between his own. Liam feels Harry’s hands bracket the side of his head and he’s being pulled even closer. After a minute Harry pulls back, but he doesn’t remove his hands from Liam’s face._

_“Why me?” He asks quietly and Liam wonders if he’s heard correctly._

_“What do you mean?” He asks._

_“Why do you love me? You could have anyone.” Harry whispers and Liam finds himself blushing. He could never respond to compliments well, especially when they come from someone like Harry. Everyone wanted Harry._

_“Stop.” Liam smiles and looks away._

_“I mean it.” Harry says more firmly, turning Liam’s head back towards him. “You’re so beautiful, Liam. And you don’t even know it.”_

_They kiss for a long time after that, and Liam knows that he’s pushing it. His mom could walk in any minute to wake him for school. But he doesn’t care. He wants to remember this moment forever._

_Liam rolls Harry over so that he’s now pinned underneath him and he reaches to the nightstand to grab his phone._

_“What are you doing?” Harry asked, confused._

_“Taking a picture of us.” Liam smiles, turning on the phone application._

_“No!” Harry whines, and attempts to cover his face with his hands._

_“Come on!” Liam says, pulling Harry’s hands away. “We don’t have any together… not like this.”_

_Harry grunts again, but sits up next to Liam and lets him take one. After a few shots Harry grabs the camera away._

_“Stop!” Liam persists and tries to grab the camera back._

_“If we’re gonna do this, let’s make it a good one, yeah?” Harry smirks and leans in to kiss Liam softly. Liam can’t hear the sound of the snapshot but he sees the flash through his closed eyelids. It’s the first time he’s taken a “kiss” picture with someone. It’s pretty fitting that it’s with Harry too. They’ve shared a lot of firsts together already._

_Liam grabs the phone back and starts fumbling with the buttons._

_“What are you doing now?” Harry asks curiously; trying to peak over Harry’s shoulder._

_“I’m sending it to you.” Liam says, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend. “You better keep it.”_

_“I will.” Harry says, leaning in and kissing Liam again on his shoulder._

_“You promise?”_

_“I promise.”_

Liam is pulled out of his memory when Zayn enters the room. He has his pj’s on and his hair is still wet from his shower.

“What are you doing, babe?” Zayn leans his head against the doorframe, waiting.

Liam forces a smile and turns to look at Zayn. “Oh, just going through some old photos. I was thinking of doing a slide show for the reception.” Liam cringes at his own lie.

“That’s a great idea!” Zayn walks over to Liam and kneels next to him. “I’ll look through some of mine tomorrow. We could do it together.” Zayn smiles at him and Liam feels the guilt rise in his gut. Zayn is so perfect.

So how come all he can think about is Harry?

 

 

 

\--

 

 

 

Harry second guesses his decision the moment he’s standing on the porch. He already rang the doorbell and he can hear footsteps lightly moving from inside. He hasn’t prepared what he’s gonna say, he doesn’t want to increase his nerves any further.

The door opens, Mrs. Payne answers and Harry plasters on a huge grin.

“Oh my goodness! Is that Harry Styles?”

She immediately reaches for Harry and pulls him in towards her and Harry can smell the familiar scent of her perfume that he was so used to smelling for years. It brings back a lot of memories and reminds Harry why he’s here in the first place. After debating between going home and sticking things out, he’s found himself here.

“Karen.” Harry pulls back, looking her in the face, “it’s really nice to see you.”

She drags him inside and takes his coat from him. Harry didn’t really have plans to stay, but he can’t exactly refuse.

Once he’s inside he can’t stop himself from looking around, taking everything back in. It feels so weird being back here, especially without _him_.

“Liam never said you were back in town! So you’ve come back for the wedding then?”

Harry isn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t exactly invited but he doesn’t want to let her down. He and Liam were best friends growing up, and their relationship had been a secret from everyone, but clearly Liam never even mentioned their falling out to her.

“Actually…” Harry begins “I moved back for good.” Harry decides to leave out the part about the wedding. So in a way he’s not exactly lying about it.

“Oh, I am sure Liam is so happy!” Harry smirks. _Yeah right. “_ Do you want something to drink, hun?”

“No, no,” Harry rushes, he has no intentions of staying “actually, I was here because I was hoping you could tell me where he lives now?”

After interrogating Harry with questions about why he doesn’t already have this information, (Harry says he lost his cell phone; so much for not lying), and bombarding him with questions about his own love life (Harry lies again and says he’s sorta dating someone back home) and finally telling Harry how he’ll have to stop by more often before the house is sold, she gives him what he’s looking for and he’s on his way.

Liam probably won’t be very happy to see him, but for once he’s gonna take Louis’s advice.

He’s gonna get Liam back.

 

 

 

 

The problem is that Harry didn’t really anticipate Zayn opening the door. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected exactly, but it wasn’t that.

It was pretty much an understatement to say that Zayn was gorgeous. He had this beautiful dark skin and dark hair and light brown eyes that just glowed, and damn, those cheekbones. He could literally be a model if he were a little taller.

Harry tries not to be jealous but it’s pretty impossible. _Maybe his personality sucks?_ Harry thinks to himself, but that thought is thrown out the window as soon as Zayn is pulling him in the door and offering to take his coat.

Harry’s a little confused, until Zayn tells Harry that he recognized him from some of Liam’s old photos and has always wanted to meet some of Liam’s old friends. Harry cringes at the word friend. Did _anyone_ know the truth about him and Liam? Harry wonders how strong their relationship could actually be if Liam never even told Zayn about him, and it makes Harry feel a little better about his plans to break this engagement up.

“Liam’s not here, but he just texted a minute ago saying he was on his way if you want to wait?” Zayn asks politely and smiles and Harry feels the guilt slowly rising in his stomach. Of course Liam had to pick one of the good ones.

Harry hesitates. He could easily say never mind and run out the door. Pretend like he was never even here. Then he remembers what Louis told him on the phone just before coming and all the encouragement he gave Harry and he decides he should stick it out. At the very least he should talk to Liam; tell him the truth finally. And then Liam can decide what he wants to do.

  
“So I don’t want this to come off rude or anything, but I only really know about you from some pictures.” Zayn says, sitting down on the couch and signifying for Harry to do the same. “But Liam’s never really talked about you before. How close were you?”

Harry wants to laugh. Scream that he and Liam were just as close as they (Liam and Zayn) were now but he holds his tongue. When Harry responds that they were actually best friends growing up Zayn looks shocked.

“Wow, Liam never mentioned it. “

That stings.

Zayn continues. “So how come you’re not in the wedding?”

“Well, we kinda lost touch after graduation.” Harry says meekly, looking around the room. He’s starting to feel uncomfortable and really hopes Liam can come home soon so he can talk to him.

“Well, you’re at least gonna be there, right? Isn’t that why you’re here?”

Harry says for the third time that he actually moved back and wasn’t here for the wedding. He explains that he only just found out Liam was engaged and that’s why he’s here now, to try to make amends with Liam.

Harry can tell that Zayn wants to ask what happened between them, but he’s polite and doesn’t say anything else. Just tells Harry he thinks that’s a great idea and he would really want him to go.

Before Harry can really respond the front door is opening and Liam is walking in. When he sees Harry sitting with Zayn he stops in his tracks, looking between the two of them for an explanation.

“Liam, hi!” Zayn says immediately and rushes over to Liam, kissing him on the mouth to welcome him home. Harry looks away and waits.

“Harry, what are you doing here?” Liam asks; shock plastered all over his face.

“Actually…” Zayn interrupts, attempting to help Harry out “Harry wanted to make amends with you.”

Liam looks at Zayn, confused.

“He told me you guys kinda lost touch and I said that I think he should come to the wedding.”

Liam smiles at Zayn but Harry would recognize that look anywhere. Liam is not happy.

“Um, okay…” Liam responds, lightly rubbing Zayns back. “Why don’t you give us a minute to talk? You can maybe get dinner started and I’ll be in a minute?”

Zayn smiles at Liam and kisses him on the cheek once more before exiting the room.

As soon as he is gone Liam’s face falls and he nods at Harry to follow him outside.

This won’t be good.

 

 

 

 

_How dare he._

Liam is seething. How dare Harry come to _his house_ without any sort of warning, talk to his fiancé and practically invite himself to the wedding? What the fuck is he actually thinking?

“What are you doing here Harry?” Liam asks, not even attempting to hide his anger. They are outside, Zayn can’t hear.

Harry fidgets with his hands a little. “I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t really get a chance the other day.”

Liam sighs. What could Harry possibly have to say to him?

“How’d you even get this address?” Liam asks.

“I… kinda went to see your mom before I came here…”

Liam wants to punch something. Did Harry not realize how extremely difficult he was making things? No one had known about him and Harry’s past relationship and he didn’t want that information coming out now, not a few weeks before his wedding. What exactly what Harry’s agenda?  

“Zayn was right," Harry speaks slowly, "I really do want to clear the air between us.”

Liam can tell that Harry is struggling with his words.

“There are some things I wanted to explain to you.”

Liam shakes his head at Harry and Harry wonders again if this was the right decision.

“Harry, there is absolutely nothing you can say to fix things between us.”

Harry cringes. That’s pretty much the last thing that he wanted to hear. It’s just confirmation that Harry’s doubts are true; Liam will never be able to forgive him.

“I understand that.” Harry says, defeated. He’d originally had this whole speech planned in his head (something he’d thought about saying to Liam for years) but standing here now, he realizes it was always just a ridiculous fantasy. He’s never gonna get Liam back.

“I just don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

Liam stares, waiting for Harry to continue.

“I’m back now and I know you’re never gonna forgive me for what I did to you, but if you’re truly happy with Zayn then… I’m happy for you. You completely deserve it, Liam.”

Harry feels like crying. He hates saying things that he clearly doesn’t feel but it’s important for Liam to believe that he’s being sincere.

Liam’s face falls a little and Harry wonders if it’s disappointment on his face or something else.

 “I won’t go to the wedding if you don’t want me to. But, I just want to let you know that I am not here to cause any drama. I want things to be cordial between us, I can’t stand this weirdness.”

Harry tries his hardest not to cry. The last thing he wants is to see Liam marry someone else, but if he can’t be with Liam then he still wants him in his life as a friend. (Even if it’s an impossible dream and never going to be enough for him.)

Liam bites his lip and looks down, clearly thinking Harry’s words over.

Harry had half expected Liam to yell at him to go home, but his quietness is shocking and Harry has no idea what he’s gonna say.

Liam takes a breath.

“You can come to the wedding.”

Harry’s looks up. Did he hear correctly?

“But you need to know, I’m doing this for Zayn… not for you.”

Harry wonders how many more hits he can take before he’s down but he nods slowly, letting Liam know that he accepts. It may take a while, but he’ll prove to Liam he can be a good friend again.

Harry takes this sudden silence as his cue to leave. But before he turns around Liam is muttering something about sending Harry an official invite. If Harry wasn’t staring so hard at Liam he would have missed it, but he swears he see’s Liam’s eyes flicker to his mouth for a second before turning back around and heading inside.


	2. Chapter 2

Did Harry just imagine that, or did it really happen? Is it possible that Liam was thinking the same thing he was? The entire conversation outside Liam’s flat Harry only had one thing on his mind, how badly he wanted to kiss him. He probably would have done it too, if Liam’s fiancé wasn’t less than ten feet away inside the house.

In the five years that Harry was away, he almost forgot how gorgeous Liam was… almost. Age had done him well and standing there with his hair lightly tussled, and eyes glowing Harry couldn’t help but think of the past. He remembers the first time that he ever kissed Liam and wonders if his urgency was as strong then as it feels right now.  

 

 

_It was the end of December and Harry and Liam had managed to get away from the annual Christmas party that Liam’s mom threw every year. The house was filled with older friends of Liam’s parents that Harry didn’t recognize and Liam and Harry were holed up in Liam’s room, like usual._

_They had exchanged gifts already and Harry was contemplating telling Liam how he felt. Harry was surprised that Liam hadn’t already figured it out, they were basically inseparable, Harry always wanted to be around him and he felt like his feelings were completely obvious. Luckily Liam didn’t seem to notice anything was different._

_“Can you believe we’ve been friends for so long?” Liam pulls Harry out of his thoughts._

_It had been almost 10 years since they met and Harry could hardly believe that he knew Liam that entire time and had only just began having feelings in the last few months. Watching him now, with his doofy Christmas sweater and mop of curls, Harry wonders how he could have ever felt differently. He resists every urge to just reach out and kiss him and wonders how Liam would react to that. Would it ruin their friendship?_

_“Yes.” Is all that Harry manages to say and Liam smiles, his eyes squinting, and he stands from the bed._

_“Maybe we should get back down there? We’re not being very social.” Liam smiles and starts walking towards the door._

_“Okay.” Harry whines, standing to follow. He wants to say one last thing before he does. “Promise you’ll always be my best friend?”_

_Liam stops, turning around in the doorway and looking at Harry with an expression that Harry can’t read._

_“Promise.” He says quietly, back leaning against the door._

_Harry catches up to him and stops, so that he’s now standing across from him beneath the door frame. It’s silent except for the noise coming from downstairs and Harry finds his focus moving to Liam’s lips. Liam is staring at him with an almost questioning expression and Harry decides not to let the opportunity go to waste. He leans forward slowly, giving Liam a chance to speak, or move, or do something to get out of this but he stays in place and Harry’s face is now inches in front of Liam’s. Harry almost can’t believe that he’s doing this, but the timing feels right and he’s moving off instinct now. Liam’s eyes finally close when Harry’s lips brush against his. It’s soft and sweet and too short, but it’s perfect and before he knows it it’s over and Harry is pulling away, waiting for Liam to respond._

_Harry’s caught off guard when Liam chuckles and glances up. Harry follows his gaze and spots it._

_There’s a mistletoe hanging from the door frame._

_Harry feels his stomachs drop. Liam’s laughing because he thinks it’s all an act._

_“I probably shouldn’t have put that there, huh?” Liam smiles to himself and looks away, avoiding Harry’s gaze._

_Harry knows he should say something, he could easily just tell Liam how he feels. But he’s frozen. The words won’t come out._

_“Yeah” Harry forces a laugh as he steps out of the door frame and heads downstairs. He thinks he sees disappointment flash briefly on Liam’s face as he leaves, but he talks himself out it. There will be plenty of time to tell Liam how he feels._

 --

 

“So you pussied out then?”

Sigh. Harry had a feeling Louis would react this way.

“I did not ‘pussy out’ Lou. I took the high road.”

“That’s BS and you know it.” Louis almost shouts over the phone. “What is wrong with you? You were supposed to go over there, tell him the truth, then kiss him senseless and let him come crawling back to you!”

“I couldn’t do it, okay?” Harry fidgets with his shirt as he talks. The hotel feels empty and deserted as he sits alone in the darkness. “Zayn was really nice… I felt bad.”

“Zayn?” Louis scoffs at the name.

Harry ignores the dig. “Liam said I could come to the wedding. I can’t screw everything up now, he might be willing to be friends again. Maybe that’s enough.” Harry doesn’t even believe his own words as they exit his mouth.

“I guess I should have expected that.” Lou says quietly.

Harry sits up a little straighter. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know Harry. You told me once that in highschool that you were going to tell him how you felt and you chickened out then too. I guess history really repeats itself.”

“Hey, eventually I told him, okay? And besides, that situation is completely different. “

Lou’s silence allows Harry to continue.

“I’m not gonna come home Louis, but maybe I have to accept that things are really over. “

“You know that by trying to be in his life even as a friend you’re just asking for it? The truth is gonna come out eventually Harry.”

Harry sighs.

“I mean, do you really think it’s possible for you and him to be just friends?”

Harry leans back farther on the bed. “We were once before.” He tries not to think about how much things have changed since then, and how even if they could get back to that, how difficult it will be.

“Yeah, well, I still think you should go for it.” Lou spits out. “Who cares about this Zeke person? You had him first.”

Harry laughs. Typical Lou. He doesn’t even bother correcting him on the name. “Yeah, and I fucked it all up.”

“You need to stop beating yourself up over that. We both know why you did it, even if Liam doesn’t.”

It’s the most sincere thing Harry’s heard Louis ever say.

“Just tell him the truth, Haz. After all these years, he deserves to know.”

Harry is about to argue, to tell Louis that the truth may only hurt Liam more, but before he has a chance his phone is beeping and another caller is trying to get through.

“Lou, I gotta go. I’ll call you later.”

Harry thinks he can hear Louis mutter something about not calling until he’s gotten Liam back but he’s hanging up already.

Harry answers and immediately stands from the bed when he realizes that it’s Zayn.

He tells Harry he got his hotel information from Liam’s mom. He then lets Harry know that he’s putting together a slideshow of the wedding and asks Harry if he has any photos of  him with Liam that he could include. Harry reluctantly agrees and the two make plans for the following day when Liam is at work. Harry refuses to risk running into Liam again. Somehow he feels that Liam wouldn’t be very happy if he knew that Harry was getting involved in the wedding.

 

 --

 

The next day Harry shows up Zayn’s around noon. He doesn’t have many photos of them together (photos that are appropriate at least) but what he does have will have to do. He wonders to himself if Liam has kept any of the copies somewhere.

Zayn looks even more gorgeous today then he did the last time Harry saw him and he shallowly understands how Liam could be attracted to him. Conversation comes easy with Zayn too. That is, until he asks Harry about Liam and tries to get information on what happened between them. Zayn lets it slip that Liam wouldn’t talk about it. Harry vaguely thinks back on when exactly everything went wrong.

 

 

_It probably started about a month after they graduated. Liam had just started working for his father and Harry was still deciding on exactly what he wanted to do. He was living with Liam at the time, fortunate enough to have a boyfriend that was willing to support him until he figured things out._

_It was a Friday night and Liam had just arrived home. Harry had been pacing the house, unsure of how he was going to break the news to his boyfriend. He realized he was sort of springing this on him, but he had to tell him._

_When he finally got Liam to sit, he broke the news._

_“So… I got accepted to school in Cheshire… and I think I wanna go.”_

_The look on Liam’s face is heartbreaking and Harry almost wants to take it back, but he knows that he can’t stay in Wolverhampton much longer. He can’t keep living off of Liam and not do anything with his life._

_Liam is pretty quiet for a while and Harry wonders what he’s thinking until he feels his hands being grabbed and he’s being pulled to the couch next to him._

_“I’ll go with you.” Liam says quietly, sounding a little hesitant._

_“What?” Harry asks, not sure that he’s heard correctly._

_“I’m going with you.” He repeats more firmly._

_“No…” Harry says immediately, shifting away from Liam on the couch._

_“What about your job, Liam?” Harry questions; still surprised._

_Liam sighs. “I’ll find another one.”_

_Harry shakes his head. Harry can’t help but feel guilty. Of course he’s happy that his boyfriend is willing to drop everything and go with him, but he refuses to let him. Liam’s always said that his life was in Wolverhampton, Harry cannot ask him to give that up._

_“Liam, you love your job. You’ve always wanted to work for your dad.”_

_“Not as much as I want to be with you.” Liam says, squeezing Harry’s hand hard and staring deep into his eyes._

_“I can’t ask you to do that.” Harry says, making his words final._

_“You’re not asking me, I want to.”_

_Harry doesn’t say anything. He’s not sure what to say. He knows there’s no arguing with Liam on this; once he’s made up his mind, he sticks with it._

_Then Liam is leaning in to pull Harry into a hug and Harry wants to be happy but it’s impossible. He refuses to be the reason that Liam gives up everything he’s ever worked for. Liam may be stubborn, but Harry knows he’s more so… and there is absolutely no way he’s gonna let Liam follow him to Cheshire._

_Not a chance in hell._

Harry pulls himself back into the present and Zayn is staring at him, waiting for a response.

“When I left town, we just lost touch… you know, like friends do.” Harry hopes that his lie is convincing and he realizes that it is when Zayn nods quietly.

“What was he like as a kid?” Zayn asks next, changing the subject.

There are many responses to that question. _Beautiful? Intoxicating? Full of Life?_ Harry wants to say.

“Pretty much the same as he is now.” Harry tries to hide his smile.

Harry tells Zayn the story about how he met Liam. They had been paired together for a group project in the 3rd grade and had been inseparable ever since. As Harry talks he wonders how Zayn would react to the information that he and Liam had once dated; that they were each other’s first everything’s. He realizes how easy it would be to destroy things between them if he just told Zayn the truth right now.

Harry internally kicks himself for being so selfish. Zayn seems like a really kind, genuine person that truly loves Liam. Harry keeps his mouth shut. He’s glad Liam has found such a good guy. He hopes he’s happy.

Besides, Zayn would never hurt him in the way that Harry did. Harry doesn’t deserve Liam. Maybe Zayn does.

 

 --

 

Harry’s in the hotel, contemplating his next move.

Maybe he should just leave. Clearly he doesn’t have the guts to tell Liam the truth, maybe it’s too late now anyway. But he’d promised to go to the wedding. He’d also convinced himself earlier that he could stay and be friends with Liam. But Harry’s not sure how much more of this he can take. He doesn’t know if he can stay here, potentially see Liam every day, constantly be confronted with the knowledge that he lost the one person he ever truly cared about.

Harry is pulled out his thoughts when he hears a knock on the door.

He glances at the clock, which reads 10:00 pm. He wonders who it could be at such a late time.

He only gets the door open a crack before its being slammed open and someone is storming their way into the room.

Harry feels his breath catch in his throat. _Fuck._

It’s Liam.

“We need to talk… _now_.”

 

 --

 

Harry stumbles backwards when Liam pushes his way through the door. He’s about to ask Liam what’s wrong, but his question is answered before he gets the chance to speak.

“I know you went to see Zayn today.” He says roughly as he paces back and forth in the room.

Harry is a little confused at why he’s so upset about this, and tries to defend himself, “yeah, he wanted some pictures of us for the slideshow” he says quietly, giving Liam a look that says _what the fuck is your problem?_

“You could have just said you didn’t have any!” Liam yells, stopping to look Harry in the eyes. “It’s one thing to come to the wedding and stand in the back quietly. I don’t need you to get involved in the planning.”

“I don’t see what the big deal is, Liam. It’s not like I’m gonna tell him anything.”

Harry can see Liam clench his fists and he knows that he’s holding back from yelling even further.

Liam completely ignores Harry’s last statement and continues. “It’s a big deal to me! The more you’re around him, the more questions he asks.”

“Yeah, well maybe if you had said something to him about us earlier he wouldn’t have to… I still don’t get why you never did.” His words elicit a negative response in Liam and Harry immediately wants to take his words back.

“Fuck you Harry.” Liam’s fuming. “I didn’t tell him because I wanted to forget all about it. I wanted to forget all about you.”

Liam’s words sting a lot and Harry wonders how things went from cordial to cold so quickly. He wants to turn the conversation around.

“I’m sorry Liam, I was just trying to be nice and help out.” He can see Liam’s expression soften a little. “I don’t have a hidden agenda, okay? It’s not like I’m here to get you back.” Harry chuckles a little at his own statement, realizing the minimal amount of truth behind it. When he looks at Liam his face is contorted into an emotion he knows too well. Hurt.

Liam doesn’t say anything just turns away from Harry and continues pacing.

“Unless that’s what you wanted…” Harry says daringly.

“No.” Liam shouts firmly, rubbing his head with his hands.

Harry’s not sure he believes him, but he’s tired of getting his hopes so he won’t let himself entertain the idea that part of that may be true.

“Just because we agreed to be friendly doesn’t mean that we’re friends Harry. Come to the wedding if you want, but I can’t keep seeing you around...” Liam pauses, as if he’s wondering if he should continue, but he does anyway, “it’s too hard.”

Now it’s Harry’s turn to get upset.

“It’s too hard?” Harry can hear his voice rising. “How do you think it is for me, Liam? You’re the one getting married!”

Liam sighs under his breath. He mumbles something that Harry can’t understand.

“What did you say?” Harry yells at him, frustrated by the entire conversation.

“I said, you had your chance!” Liam stops moving now and if his eyes weren’t moving back and forth between Harry’s, he’d wonder if he was even breathing.

Harry wants to cry. He’s not sure how much more of this he can take.

“I can’t do this.” Harry says quietly, turning to leave, but Liam chases after him. He grabs one of Harry’s arms roughly and pushes his against the wall.

“ _You_ have no right to be mad at _me_!” Liam is only inches away from Harry’s face now and Harry finds it hard to even look at him. He can feel Liam’s breath on his neck and Liam’s scent is very apparent now that he’s closer.

“I know okay!” Harry can feel the tears forming behind his eyes. “I know I ruined everything. You’ve reminded me of it every second that I’ve been here.”

Liam’s grip on Harry loses a tiny bit. “Then why are you here? Why would you come back?”

Liam sounds desperate. Harry can’t form a response. He can’t give Liam the real reason.

“You always wanted to get out,” Liam sputters, “you were just dying to leave.”

Harry can see so much hurt in Liam’s eyes and it takes everything he has not to comfort him. He can’t really believe the words coming out of Liam’s mouth, they couldn’t be further from the truth.

“I didn’t want to leave.” Harry explains. “But I wasn’t gonna stick around and play housewife. I had to do something, make something of myself. I had to grow up Liam.”

Liam releases Harry’s arm. “I was willing to give up everything to be with you, and you couldn’t do the same for me. You never cared about school. You easily could have gone to college somewhere closer.”

“I know!” Harry shouts. “I was stupid. I was a kid then. If I could go back and change things I would. I promise.” Harry reaches out to grab Liam’s hand but the younger man pushes his hand away.

“Promises don’t mean much to you do they? I mean, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway Harry. We both know that’s not the real reason we broke up.” Liam looks away.

Harry contemplates telling Liam the truth now. He doesn’t exactly know where to begin.

“You wanna know the reason I came back?” Liam’s eyes flash immediately back to Harry.

“I missed you.”

Harry makes sure to emphasize every word and once again he sees Liam’s eyes flash to his lips. He feels a sudden jolt in his heart.

“I lied before. I did come back for you. There’s so much I want to tell you… so much I have to explain.”

Liam somehow feels closer and Harry knows that he’s on the verge of a break through. He has so much to tell him but right now he needs Liam to know how much he cares.

“I wasn’t just in love with you Liam, you were my best friend.” Harry can hear Liam’s breath catch in his throat. “You were my best friend and I _miss_ you.”

Harry reaches for his hand again and this time Liam lets him grab it. Harry slots their fingers together and squeezes, looking right into Liam’s brown eyes. Harry knows his words have gotten to him.

He needs to continue but his instincts are kicking in again and all Harry wants to do is kiss him. He knows he may not have another chance.

Harry uses his other hand to grab the back of Liam’s neck as he pulls him towards his body.

“I’m sorry.” Harry whispers again before he crashes their lips together. Liam isn’t pushing him away, but he’s not kissing back either and after a moment he pulls away from Harry slightly.

“That’s the first time you ever said you loved me.”

Harry knows he never said it when they were together and he doesn’t know exactly why. Maybe he was scared. But he always felt it.

“I always did.” Harry says briefly and Liam is pushing his lips back against Harry’s. Harry pushes off from the door about the same moment he feels Liam’s tongue brush against his and he walks them back towards the bed. Harry pushes Liam down and hovers over him. He gets as far as kissing his neck before Liam is pushing Harry off of him once again.

“No!” He yells, getting up from the bed and walking back towards to door. “I can’t do this!”

“Liam…” Harry begins, upset at himself for not explaining when he had the chance.

“No!” Liam yells a second time. “I won’t let you reel me back in Harry!”

“Let me explain!”  Harry stands from the bed.

“There’s nothing to explain! You fucked everything up! I’m getting married in two days. I love him.”

Liam’s words cut like a knife. Harry doesn’t know what to say and he doesn’t think anything will be able to fix this.

“You’re too late.” Liam says before he’s slamming the door and leaving Harry alone yet again.

 

The last time that Liam had slammed a door on Harry was five years ago, the last time that he ever saw him.

 

 

_Liam had been working late and he was looking forward to coming home and spending time with his boyfriend. Harry would be leaving in a few days and Liam had every intention to follow him soon after. He hadn’t spoken to his dad about it yet, it was going to be a difficult conversation to have, but it would be worth it. Harry was worth it._

_Liam pulls into the driveway and spots a red car that he’s never seen before parked next to Harry’s. He wonders who could be over at the house so late at night, but he puts the thought out of his head for the moment and trudges into the house._

_He plans to eat, shower, then cuddle with Harry until he falls asleep._

_His plans change when he walks into the living room and spots Harry. He’s kissing someone else. Both of their shirts are off and Harry’s hair is a mess and Liam can’t believe what he’s seeing._

_Before Liam and Harry started dating Harry had dated around a bit. He had a bit of a reputation for being a ‘bad boy’ but Liam had never believed the rumors. Harry was his best friend, he knew him better than anyone and he knew that deep down Harry wanted the same things that he did. Which was why it was such a shock for Liam to see him with someone else. He never in a millon years thought that Harry could ever cheat on him._

_Liam doesn’t even have time to feel hurt, his anger is taking full control right now. “Get out!” He yells at the guy (to this day he still doesn’t know his name) and the guy runs out immediately, leaving Harry standing there. Harry doesn’t even look shocked to be caught. He doesn’t even try to explain things to Liam, even though Liam gives him a chance to say something._

_“What are you doing?” Is all that Liam can manage to say. It comes out softer than he intends, but he’s still in shock as Harry just stands there, watching him intently._

_“What do you think?” Harry says harshly and he looks away from Liam, reaching down to grab his shirt up from the floor. It’s one of Liam’s shirts._

_Liam can’t understand why Harry is so calm right now. He can’t understand why Harry doesn’t even look upset, as if he expected to be caught, as if he wanted to._

_“Why?” Liam asks, finally starting to feel the sadness hit him as tears begin to form behind his eyes._

_Harry has no response and he starts to leave the room when Liam grabs him and spins him back around._

_“Why would you do this?!” Liam yells, his grip on Harry’s arm tightening._

_“You expect too much from me, Liam!” Harry yells back, finally showing emotion._

_“How do I expect too much?” Liam questions. “I let you move in with me. I tell you I love you and you don’t say it back, but I’ve never once pressured you to! We never even defined our relationship because I didn’t want to push you away. How is that expecting too much from you?”_

_Harry looks to the ground, sighing softly._

_“What do you want from me?” Liam pleads._

_“I don’t want anything. We've barely been together a year Liam.”_

_Liam isn’t sure where Harry is going with this or how it explains anything._

_“I don’t love you.”_

_Liam feels like he’s been punched in the gut. “I don’t believe that.” It’s not possible. Not after everything they’ve been through._

_Harry pulls away again not responding and heads toward the front door. Liam doesn’t understand anything and everything hurts and he knows he won’t be able to get through to Harry._

_“Fuck you Harry!” His words cause Harry to turn around. “When we first got together you promised you would never hurt me.”_

_Harry finally starts to show a bit of emotion and Liam can see his expression change a little. He begins to look more upset the longer he sticks around._

_“People lie.” Harry responds quietly._

_Liam can’t believe his ears. A few hours ago he was planning a life with Harry and now a completely different person is standing in front of him. He’s not sure what changed in the last few weeks but Harry’s been slowly pulling away and this is the final straw._

_“It’s a good thing you’re leaving in a few days Harry because I never want to see you again.”_

_The tears are finally falling and Liam storms passed Harry. Now that he’s closer to him he can see the tears in his own eyes, but he’s beyond the point of caring._

_“I’m gonna go for a drive and clear my head. When I get back, I want you to be gone.”_

_Liam rushes out the door, slamming it as he goes. He swears he can hear the sounds of Harry sobbing behind the door but it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s done. Harry has ruined everything._

_It’s over._


	3. Chapter 3

He almost made it through the doors. Almost. But he couldn’t. Instead, he stood under the doorframe, watching from afar.

It was the night of the rehearsal dinner and Harry was struggling every second with the urge not to just turn around and leave. Watching this wedding happen tomorrow night would be bad enough, did he really have to sit through a practice of it too?

Harry figured if he stood in the shadows instead of partaking with the rest of the guests he could go unnoticed, and then cut out early, but no such luck. Within minutes of the rehearsal speeches Liam had spotted him. They’d only locked eyes briefly but it was enough of a dagger to the heart. Harry wondered how he was ever going to get through this. And more importantly, how Liam would. Surely, the feelings that lingered weren’t one sided? If only Liam could see that.

About the time that Zayn and Liam were practicing the first kiss Harry had to exit. This was way too _fucking_ hard. Suddenly everything began to feel entirely too real.

Once he’s outside he pulls out his phone and dials Louis, the only person he knows who will be able to calm his nerves.

Harry feels a little guilty because he hasn’t told Louis about the kiss. He’s never kept things from his best friend before, but he really doesn’t want to over think things. Louis would only edge him on and persuade him to do something stupid, like stop the wedding, which was definitely not gonna happen. On top of that, Harry felt a little ashamed. He liked Zayn. He felt guilty that he was feet away plotting ways to steal his fiancé from him. (Though, to be fair, he’d had him first.)

Unfortunately, Louis reacted exactly the way that Harry thought he would. He tried to convince Harry to object to the wedding early. Around the time Louis told Harry he was going to hop on a plane and talk to Liam himself Harry decided it was time to call it a night. There was no use standing around torturing himself any longer. Liam was going to marry Zayn. That was just how it was going to be, and there was nothing Harry could to do to stop it.

Harry decided to head home and get some sleep. It was early, but the sooner he went to bed the sooner he could get this wedding over with. He still wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to do after that (stick it out or head back to the city) but he’d figure all of that out later.

Harry barely managed to cross the street before he heard his name being called out. He didn’t even have to turn around to see who it belonged to, he’d recognize that voice anywhere.

“Where are you going?” Liam asks, confusion spreading across his face and Harry has to try extra hard to keep his frustration down. The other night Liam was upset and slamming doors and now he was seriously following Harry outside?

“I’m sorry Liam,” Harry says, rubbing his eyes. He’s mentally and physically exhausted by the entire situation “things were getting a bit stuffy in there.”

Liam just stares back at Harry, contemplating his words and Harry can see the genuine sadness on his face, which only pushes Harry’s buttons more.

“Why do you care Liam?” Harry tries not to sound too angry, but he can’t stop it.

Liam steps a little closer. “I know we said a lot of stuff last night but…. I just need to know that you’re okay.”

There he goes, blurring the lines again.

“You can’t do that, Liam. You chose Zayn. You can’t follow me out to ask if I’m okay.”

Silence.

 “Seriously, go back to your fiancé.”

He doesn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it does but he doesn’t understand what game they’re playing. He can’t keep up with what exactly Liam wants from him.

Liam’s face changes at Harry words and probably for the first time Harry realizes how much Liam is struggling with all of this too.

“You know…” Liam begins, looking down at his feet, as if he can’t bear to look at Harry’s face, “I didn’t think it would be this.”

Harry waits for him to continue.

“I thought the next time I saw you we’d be okay. I thought that just maybe… we’d be able to be friends.” Liam laughs and Harry can hear the sadness in it. “I guess that was stupid.”

Harry sighs. More than anything he wants his friend back. The one he grew up with. The one that knew every little thing there was to know about him. The one he fell in love with. He thinks he can see Liam smile slightly and he wonders to himself if it’s really possible.

He knows it’s not.

“I don’t wanna be friends.” Harry tries to ignore the desperation in his own voice but it’s useless and he realizes the impact of his words once Liam breathes out deeply. He’s caught him off guard. This could be Harry’s last chance to finally say what’s been on his mind this entire time.

“I always loved you Liam.” Harry grabs Liam’s arm and holds him in place before he even has a chance to turn away. The thing is, Liam isn’t moving.

Harry moves even closer, grabbing both of Liam’s wrists tightly. “I still do.”

Liam sighs again and this time he shifts from Harry, looking away. “Harry…”

“Liam,” Harry tightens his grip and Liam returns his focus to Harry’s eyes. “I _promise_.”

Liam flinches a little at the words but his eyes soften and Harry can tell that he’s struggling.

“Please, don’t marry him.” Harry stares right into Liam’s brown eyes and he can see them begin to water. “I know I fucked things up before, but it was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Harry moves into Liam’s space, their foreheads are now pressed together. “Please, Liam.”

Harry can see Liam swallow before he averts his gaze once again. Liam pulls his arms out of Harry’s grasp and softly pushes him away. He speaks slowly.

“On the day I found you with him, I told myself I’d never forgive you.”

This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen. Harry is supposed to tell Liam everything and Liam is supposed to let him. Liam is supposed to forgive him. They’re supposed to be together.

“I’ve been trying to tell you about that…” Harry begins, but then a door is opening and Zayn is walking out.

“Hey guys…” Zayn says quietly, looking between the two quickly. “Liam, they need us back in there.”

Harry decides against saying anything, he just waits.

Liam throws one last look at him and Harry tries with everything he has to plead with his eyes. They’re saying _stay with me_.

He doesn’t.

 --

Later that night when Harry’s alone in his hotel bed he can’t seem to fall asleep. He keeps wishing that the phone will ring and it’ll be Liam telling him he wants to give things another try. Or at least, give Harry the chance to finally explain himself.

But the phone doesn’t ring. Liam isn’t choosing him.

Liam’s made his choice and Harry knows that he has to go back to the city, to his old life; the one without Liam in it.  He won’t attend the wedding.

 --

_Five years ago Harry was sitting at a bar with his sister Gemma._

_“You might wanna slow down” she says quietly as another drink is slid over the bar to him._

_“Liquid courage.” Harry mutters before picking up the drink and downing it in one go._

_Gemma stares at him as if she’s confused and she should be. Harry knows he’s acting insane, but it has to be done._

_“Where’s Liam tonight?” She asks him and he puts a hand up, ordering yet another drink._

_“He’s working ‘til Eleven.” Harry says quietly. He wonders how much longer he has until she starts asking the tough questions._

_She glances down at her wrist. “That’s in like 10 minutes… is he meeting us here?”_

_Harry doesn’t answer._

_The thing about Gemma is that she always takes a hint. If she knows Harry is upset she gives him space. Another minute passes and she changes subject._

_“So, have you decided if you’re going or not?”_

_She means school. Harry only nods. He isn’t looking at her but he can see from her body language out of his peripheral vision that she understands._

_“Is he going with you?”_

_Harry knows as she asks the question that she already knows the answer. Harry only shakes his head._

_Gemma turns to him, waits for him to look her in the eye._

_“Did he say that?”_

_Harry can’t stand the way she’s looking at him. Like she knows he’s gonna break his heart. And he is._

_“He will.”_

_His last drink arrives and he throws more money on the table as he stands._

_“What?” Gemma asks, clearly confused._

_Harry picks his coat up from the chair and puts it on._

_“Harry, what’s going on? Why are you being so weird?”_

_Again, Harry doesn’t answer. He’s spotted who he’s looking for._

_“What do you think of him?” Harry asks her, nodding over to the 20 something man at the end of the bar. Harry’s never seen him before but he’s cute. He’ll do._

_Gemma gives him a look of complete exasperation. “Why?” is all that she says._

_“I’ll be back.” Harry says firmly and heads toward the man. He shouldn’t be pulling Gemma into this. But he needs someone to know the truth. For his own sanity._

_He gets over to him and sits. Harry slaps a 100 dollar bill down on the bar next to him. “You wanna make some money tonight?”_

_The guy gives him a funny look but Harry stops him before he asks more questions._

_“All you have to do is kiss me.”_

_The guy’s expression changes instantly. He squints when he smiles, and it reminds him of Liam. The ache in Harry’s stomach only deepens._

_Harry drinks the rest of his drink and he signals for the guy to follow him out. If he’s gonna do this, it has to be now._

_The guy follows him out and as they pass Gemma she grabs his arm firmly._

_“Harry, what the hell are you doing?”_

_Harry looks Gemma strait in eye and speaks slowly._

_“Getting him to stay.”_

_Her expression changes. She finally understands._

_“No, Harry, don’t do this.”_

_“I have to!” Harry’s voice rises “I won’t let him follow me, Gem.”_

_“So what, you’re willing to let cheat on him for it?”_

_“No. He just needs to think I cheated.” The guy is standing at the door waiting. He has to go._

_“You’re gonna crush him.” She’s pleading with him. He already knows._

_“If he hates me, he’ll stay here. It’s where he always wanted to be.”_

_Harry glances at the clock. It’s 11 pm. He knows that Liam will be finishing work and heading home soon. This will all be timed perfectly._

_He goes to leave. He’s regretting this decision before he’s even out the door._

_\--_

It’s July 13th. Liam’s wedding day. As he stands in the mirror looking at himself, he’s not sure who he sees. This was the never the person that he imagined being, never the life he imagined living.

He moves to the night stand and opens the box. He almost can’t look at it. It’s a beautiful ring. Exactly what Zayn would want.

He shuts the box, walks over to his closet and pulls the photo out that he kept hidden at the back of a drawer.

Liam stares at the photo. Notices Harry’s red shirt. He remembers that day vividly.

A second later Liam is rummaging through the old box of Harry’s things. He has to find it.

 --

Harry’s packing his stuff up when he gets the phone call. Louis was supposed to call him thirty minutes ago. He sure took his time.

Harry picks up the phone.

“I’m not going.” He says into it, expecting to hear Lou’s protests on the other end. But it’s not Louis at all, it’s Karen.

Harry listens as she speaks but can’t quite comprehend the words that she’s saying because everything’s coming out in a rush. He definitely hears “the weddings off” though. That much is clear.

“What happened?” Harry tries to say but the words are jumbled. She understands.

“He wouldn’t say.”

Harry’s heart is beating out of his chest and he sits on the bed, suddenly not able to keep his footing.

The wedding is off. Liam and Zayn are over. Harry feels equal parts joy and equal parts guilt. He wants to ask about Zayn but knows it’s not his place.

Only then does Harry wonder why she’s calling. Until she speaks again.

“He wants to see you.”

\--

After Harry hangs up the phone he just stands in his hotel room, unmoving. He’s in complete shock over what’s just happened and he doesn’t know what to do next. His feet won’t move.

Liam wants to see him?

 

After finally managing to pull himself together Harry makes his way out the door and to his car. He tries calling Louis on the way out but it goes straight to voicemail, which he finds odd. Louis always picks up his phone. He sighs in frustration. He could really use someone to talk to right about now.

On the drive over Harry mentally tries to calm himself. He refuses to get his hopes up. Just because Liam wants to see him, that doesn’t mean anything. Maybe Zayn found out the truth about them, hence calling off the wedding and Liam wants to yell at him some more for totally ruining his life.

Harry doesn’t know what’s going to happen but once again he finds himself in front of Liam’s old house, where Karen told him Liam was. He saunters up to the door slowly and hesitates slightly before ringing the doorbell.

A minute later Karen opens the door and immediately pulls Harry into a hug. She looks like she’s been crying and Harry instinctively reaches out to comfort her. It’s a little odd, but it feels familiar and in the next second she’s ushering him in the door.

He can see her purse and keys in her hand, as if she’s getting ready to leave and she walks briskly past him.

“He’s in his room.”

Harry wants to correct her. To tell her that it’s not his room anymore, that so much has changed, but she doesn’t seem interested in talking and before he can even say anything else she’s gone.

Harry takes the steps slowly, banishing any old memories of this house that flash through his head as he goes.

He reaches Liam’s door and turns the handle. He doesn’t bother with knocking. He never has.

\--

When he opens the door Liam is standing inside, leaning against his old dresser. There are some boxes scattered in the room, but for the most part it’s remained fairly intact and Harry’s eyes immediately shift to the bed. A small lump forms in his throat as memories of nights spend in here come flooding back to him.

Liam doesn’t look Harry in the eye. He stares at the ground and lifts his hand slowly. He’s holding a tiny brass key.

\--

_“Move in with me?” Liam asks as he leans over Harry, who is still pretending to be asleep._

_Harry perks up at the question and shifts so that he can look right at Liam._

_“What?” He asks with a small smile, unsure of where exactly this conversation is going._

_“We've been together for more than a year and now that we’ve graduated I just thought it would make sense. I mean, you’re parents have been nagging you to find a place and you’re always here anyway…”_

_Harry doesn’t reply right away. He isn’t sure what to say. Liam is right, but moving in? He cant believe its already been a year. It still feels too soon._

_“But, what would we tell our parents?”_

_Liam smiles at Harry sheepishly._

_“Honestly, I think my mom might have already figured us out. Whenever I mention you she’s always giving me these weird looks and smiling.”_

_Harry laughs, but he’s not sure he’s ready to come out to his own parents just yet._

_“They know we’re friends, just say that you wanna get out of their hair for a bit.”_

_Harry sighs. Part of him is screaming to say no, but a bigger part is looking at Liam and realizing how lucky he is to have someone that cares so much._

_“Don’t overthink it Haz. If it’s absolutely awful you can always move back.” Liam smiles sweetly and leans in to kiss Harry yet again._

_Harry thinks it’s unfair. Leave it to Liam to use his incredibly soft lips to get what he wants._

_“Okay.” Harry says in between breaths; he can feel Liam smiling through the kiss._

_Liam pulls away and reaches into his side drawer. He pulls out a small brass key and hands it to Harry._

_“Promise you won’t lose it?”_

_Harry takes the key from Liam’s hand and lowers his head. He’s not sure where that phrase even came from. He thinks it’s cheesey, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Apparently it’s their “thing” now._

_Harry is unable to stop staring. He’s always made it a point not to get too attached to anyone, for fear of getting hurt, but he realizes just how deep he’s in with Liam. It’s only been a few months, but he already knows that he’s in love. As much as he wants to tell Liam exactly what he’s feeling he knows he can’t. He’s never been good with words._

_“Promise.” He says quietly, and pushes Liam back down on the bed._

_-_

Harry is pulled back into the present and he can’t seem to focus on anything other than the key still in Liam’s hand. He needs to know what he’s doing with it.

“You know the hardest part of you leaving?”

Harry doesn’t speak. He knows it’s a rhetorical question.

“Coming back and seeing this on the table.”

Harry’s stomach drops. If only Liam knew how hard it had been for him to leave it.

“It made everything feel so final.”

Liam twiddles the key in his fingers. He’s still not looking at Harry and Harry thinks it’s probably a bad sign. He’s not sure he’s ever felt worse.  And for once, it’s not for himself, it’s for Liam. Standing here, he looks distraught and exhausted.

“Why did you call me here?” Harry asks softly. There’s no anger in his voice, he just needs to know.

“Don’t you wanna ask why?” Liam says, ignoring the question and asking his own. “Why I couldn’t marry him?”

Harry shifts around uncomfortably.

“Why?” He questions quietly. He’s afraid of the answer.

Liam sighs. “Everytime I looked at the ring I thought about how… I’d only ever imagined myself getting married once,” Liam finally looks up at Harry, and the wetness in his eyes is apparent. “to you, years ago.”

Harry takes a breath. He doesn’t know what to do with that information. Before he can even respond Liam is laughing.

“Which I know, is probably ridiculous. I mean, you could barely admit we were boyfriends, you could never say you loved me. You probably don’t ever even want to get married.”

Harry wants to stop him, to tell him that he’s wrong. To tell him that he did love him. That he _does_ love him. And that he would do anything for him.

“But… I love you.” Liam stands from the desk and walks closer to Harry. “And I’ve never gotten over you. And even if it’s a lost cause, I don’t care.”

Harry can’t believe his ears. He can’t move. He’s frozen completely in place. This can’t be real.

“Ever since you got back I’ve been trying to fight these feelings, but I can’t do it anymore.”

Liam is only inches in front of Harry now and he’s pleading with his eyes. “The other day you said you wanted to be with me. Did you mean that?”

“Yes!” Harry says immediately, unable to hold back any longer. “Yes. I love you. I always have.”

Liam smiles and Harry can’t stop himself.

“I’ve never been good at expressing myself and I’m sorry, but I’ve changed. I know the mistakes I’ve made…”

Before Harry can go on Liam is rushing over to him, grabbing Harry’s face in his hands and kissing him roughly on the mouth. Harry signs into the kiss, he’s wanted this for so long. But he knows before this can continue he has to tell Liam something.

“Wait.” Harry says, pulling away and grabbing Liam’s wrists tightly. “Please, Liam, let me explain something to you.”

Liam looks at him curiously but follows him over to the bed where Harry sits. Liam takes a seat next to him.

“I never cheated on you.” Harry blurts. Liam only stares, he looks completely confused. “I know what you think you saw, but I promise it wasn’t what you thought.”

Harry explains everything to Liam. That he paid the guy to kiss him. That it was all staged to get Liam mad at him. That it was the only way Liam wouldn’t follow him.

“What?” Liam asks, standing abruptly from the bed. “Why would you do that?”

“Because!” Harry says, standing again to face him. “I needed you to stay and take that job with your father. I knew how much you loved working there.”

Liam begins pacing. Harry knows all this information is a shock to him.

“I won’t lie Liam, my commitment issues were a part of it, but mainly I wanted you to be happy. You always said your life was here.” Harry takes a breath. “I know it was stupid and I should have just let you come with me, but maybe it was for the best anyway. You got to spend those last few years with your father.”

Liam looks at him, sadness forming in his eyes. Liam loved his dad and Harry knows that deep down he’s grateful for the time they got to spend together.

“I wanted to tell you this at the funeral… he would have been _so proud_ of you.”

Liam starts crying then, and takes a seat on the bed. The emotion is all too much for him.

Harry immediately follows and puts an arm around him. It feels so natural and comfortable to be soothing him like this and there’s nowhere else Harry would rather be.

Liam leans into him. “When I said my life was here, I meant you.”

Harry only holds Liam tighter, never wanting to let him go again. The two fall back on the bed and lie in silence, Liam tucked into Harry’s neck like it’s always supposed to be.

Harry knows he could explain further. Tell Liam that every day he was gone he had wanted to call. Tell him how he never did because deep down he felt he didn’t deserve his love. How he had needed Liam to hate him, to punish himself for leaving like that.

But of course Harry doesn’t say any of this. Maybe someday he will tell him. After a while Liam finally speaks.

“I’m still mad at you.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t move. He stays tucked into Harry’s space. “All that time, wasted.”

Harry closes his eyes. “I know.” He leans in and kisses Liam gently on the forehead. “But we can start now.”

Then Harry feels the weight of Liam shifting them both over. He feels Liam steady himself on top of Harry, pressing his body down into him. Liam’s mouth and hands are touching him everywhere and Harry can feel his whole body shaking.

“What about your mom?” Harry asks when Liam lifts himself up to unbutton Harry’s shirt.

“I told her to stay out for a few hours.” Liam smirks and leans back down to resume sucking on the soft skin on Harry’s neck. Harry’s always loved that spot and Liam knows it.

He never realized how much he missed this. How much he needed this.


	4. Final Chapter

_Harry would never ever forget the first time he had sex. It was beautiful and magical and everything that people always talked about. It didn’t hurt that he managed to lose it to his best friend of 9 years. It had been completely unexpected and reckless and totally unlike anything Harry thought it would be._

_After the Christmas debacle Harry pretty much thought about Liam nonstop. Every little brush of their hands, every little look, every breath, Harry read into. And every single day he tried telling Liam how he felt but could never work up the nerve. It had been 5 torturous months of longing and depression and Harry wondered how he was ever going to get over this. Sometimes Liam would look at him and it would give Harry hope, but then he’d remind himself that it was just a dream. Even if Liam were into guys, surely he wouldn’t be interested in dating his best friend. The amount of times Liam had referred to Harry as almost a brother was enough to make Harry believe that it was never going to happen._

_Which is why when Liam had kissed him (really kissed him) for the first time, Harry had been in complete shock._

_They were playing video games one afternoon after school and as usual Liam had beaten Harry. Harry found he preferred watching Liam over the game and it always got him into trouble. Usually Liam would just smile at him, crinkle his eyes and scrunch up his nose in the adorable way that he always had and Harry would just stare, appreciate the older boy and his beauty. Liam would often look away or fidget with his hands and it was in these moments that Harry would wonder if he had figured out his secret; if it made him uncomfortable. Except this time Liam didn’t look away from him._

_“Why do you always look at me like that?” Liam asks quietly, searching Harry’s eyes for an answer._

_Harry immediately turns red. So he had noticed._

_“Like what?” Harry asks innocently, trying to feign ignorance. He could spill his guts right now, tell Liam everything… if only he weren’t such a fucking chicken._

_“Like you want to…” Liam says the words slowly, trailing off at the end._

_Like you want to kiss me._

_Harry already knows what he’s gonna say and he isn’t sure that he’ll be able to lie anymore._

_Liam stares for another second, not finishing the sentence. Then he’s looking at Harry’s lips and suddenly Harry feels a lot closer to Liam then he was before._

_Liam leans into him slowly and before Harry can even register what is happening Liam is kissing him._

_Like an idiot Harry doesn’t reciprocate, he just sits there, frozen, still in shock over how a simple look could lead to this. Liam pulls away and stares back at Harry, waiting for permission to continue. Harry barely gives it any time before he’s leaning in again, kissing Liam fully. He grabs the side of Liam’s head and pulls him in even deeper, letting his tongue brush against Liam’s upper lip where it’s slightly wedged between Harry’s two. Liam tilts his head to the left and opens his mouth further, and ‘wow, that’s Liam’s tongue’ Harry thinks to himself before licking inside his mouth further._

_They kiss for quite a bit before Liam is out of breath and saying things to Harry like, ‘You’re such a good kisser’ and ‘I’ve always wanted to do this’ and Harry is nodding in agreement._

_Then Liam is getting up, grabbing Harry’s hand forcefully and pulling him up onto his bed. He pushes Harry down first and climbs on top of him, straddling Harry’s legs between his own. He resumes mouthing at Harry’s now swollen lips._

_He sits a little awkwardly and Harry can tell he’s unsure of where to place his hands until Harry just grabs them and intertwines their fingers. Liam pushes them down into the mattress and Harry can barely contain his emotions. Liam is pressed on top of him, just like in all of his fantasies and he can feel himself growing harder under the weight. He feels slightly embarrassed when Liam is glancing down, noticing Harry’s reaction, but Harry gets over it once Liam’s hand trails slowly down to his stomach, pressing his fingertips into the soft ski there._

_“Do you want to?” Liam whispers quietly, unsure and Harry immediately finds himself nodding. It’s the first time for both of them, but it feels right, like it was always supposed to happen this way._

_There’s a small debate over who should be on top, neither have any experience in the matter, though it doesn’t seem too complicated and somehow Harry ends up volunteering to bottom._

_They undress and seeing Liam naked is not something that’s new to Harry, but in this instance it’s extremely different. He’s never seen Liam fully hard before either and Harry has a difficult time looking away._

_Liam pushes into him really slow and it’s painful but Harry doesn’t want him to stop so he muffles the sounds of his discomfort. Liam can see that it hurts and he pulls out but Harry shakes his head and tells him to keep going. Liam leans down and kisses his forehead for comfort before continuing, eventually picking up a rhythm. It’s not very pleasurable for Harry but just the thought of Liam being inside of him is enough and he wants more than anything to make Liam feel good. He tries to rock up with him and it doesn’t take long before Liam is coming and pulling out of Harry, his sweat dripping onto Harry’s chest as he collapses next to him._

_It’s after a few minutes that Harry tells Liam he’s been crushing on him for months and tried to tell him at Christmas. Liam is surprised it’s been that long, but definitely noticed a change recently. Harry feels like a baby for not saying how he felt and Liam just wraps his arm around him, a gesture that’s not unfamiliar to the pair, and tells him it’s okay._

_Liam asks if Harry wants to try now and of course Harry agrees. It’s painful for Liam too, but they get through it and Harry finds his own release not much later._

_Harry stays with Liam for a few more hours, happy to find that things haven’t changed much between them. They can still talk about normal things, there just happens to be much more kissing in between now. Harry doesn’t mind._

_Weeks later, when it continues and Harry and Liam are able to find what works and what doesn’t, Harry stays the night for the first time and Liam, tucks tightly into Harry’s neck._

_“Promise you won’t hurt me?” He asks quietly, almost inaudible and Harry takes a breath. Harry is reluctant to answer because it’s a big commitment, but holding Liam now he knows he would do anything to make him happy._

_“I promise.”_

_\--_

Liam has his arms on either side of Harry’s head, fingers threading through his dark curls and his tongue trails up Harry’s jaw up to the sensitive spot behind his ear.

Harry doesn’t even attempt to keep his breathing quiet and simultaneously tries his hardest to remember every second of this moment.

“Do you remember the first time we did this?” Liam mumbles into his ear quietly, and it finally dawns on Harry where they are.

Harry chuckles quietly, turning his head to press his lips back against Liam’s. “Of course” says Harry in between kisses, “I was so _fucking_ nervous.”

Liam sits up on his elbows and looks at Harry strait on, he brushes a hair out of his eyes. “Me too. I liked you so much.”

Harry smiles fondly at Liam, still in shock that he’s here with him once again.

“I can’t believe you had the balls to kiss me. I was trying to do that for _months_.”

Liam laughs this time, leaning his head down so that his forehead touches Harry’s.  “I knew what I wanted.”

Neither is laughing now and Liam looks at Harry with so much lust that Harry thinks he might burst if he doesn’t get to feel Liam inside him right this second.

Harry’s hands immediately move to Liam’s pants and he quickly unbuttons them and drags down the zipper.

Right at that moment Liam’s phone buzzes on the table next to them and Liam’s gaze is turned away from Harry.

Harry reaches up to grab Liam’s face in his hands and direct his focus back over.

“Ignore it.” Harry speaks, leaning up to capture Liam in another kiss. Liam continues until his phone beeps for a second time and he stills once agian.

“Fine, get it.” Harry says, clearly frustrated, but with a small smile tracing his lips.

He knows it’s Zayn when he sees Liam’s face.

The older boy doesn’t say anything, just turns the phone around to show Harry. It reads “we need to talk” and the second, “can you come over?”

Harry sighs, head falling back against the pillow deeper and Liam sits up a little straighter, his focus on Harry.

“You never told me what happened exactly.” Harry says softly, hoping for an explanation.

“I broke things off this morning.” Liam says quietly, his focus turning away from Harry and down. Harry can see that he feels terrible.

“He was really mad. Told me it was out of the blue and that I should leave. I’m actually surprised he wants to talk so soon.”

“What do you think he wants?” Harry questions and he tries not to let fear seep into his veins.

“I don’t know.” Liam replies, looking back at Harry and noticing the worry in his eyes. “But I think I have to go. Give him some closure.”

Harry blinks. It’s probably too soon for that.

“At least, as much as I can.” Liam responds, as if he heard Harry’s thought.

Harry nods silently, reaches a hand and threads it through Liam’s hair, tugging softly. “Go. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Liam gets up from the bed and dresses. He leans into Harry once more before leaving. “Don’t you dare move from this bed.” He places a hand on Harry’s hip and leans in to kiss him once more. “When I get back, we’re finishing what we started.”

Liam smirks at Harry and walks out the door.

 

\--

 

When Liam finally gets to Zayn’s house (it’s weird not calling it _his_ place anymore, although he wasn’t sure that it ever was) he’s a nervous wreck. He’s confident in his decision but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel horrible about how everything went down. He genuinely did care and love Zayn, but maybe deep down he has always known that it was never in the same way that he’d loved Harry. He once thought that stability was what he needed. He thought he could be happy with a guy like Zayn. And he probably could have been. But he couldn’t imagine his life without Harry and he didn’t want to live that way anymore.

He was more nervous about what Zayn would say; how he would react to the news. He’d never really seen Zayn get angry before, at least not directed at him, and he didn’t’ want to be on the other side of that.

When Zayn lets him in he can tell that he won’t see that side, Zayn is barely looking at him, his hair is disheveled and he’s wearing his work jeans, the ones with the holes in them. Liam always hated those jeans, and he wonders if Zayn intentionally put them on to spite him. But he doesn’t look angry, just sad.

“Hi” he says quietly and Liam walks further in doorway, unsure of whether he should sit or stand.

“Hi.” Liam replies quietly. He waits for Zayn to speak, but he doesn’t say a word.

Liam wants to say he’s sorry again. Try to explain everything but he knows it will just hurt more. He’s not sure he can tell Zayn the truth now. Maybe it would be better to give it time.

As if he could read his mind Zayn finally speaks, “it’s Harry isn’t it?”

Liam is too surprised to answer immediately, but the look on his face must have given it away because Zayn shakes his head and looks away, pacing the room. “Thought so.”

Liam sighs, pulling his hands out of his pockets and trying to make eye contact with Zayn.

“I am so sorry, Zayn, I never meant to hurt you. It just… happened.”

Liam cringes at his own words, he knows how cliché it all sounds. Knows that no matter what he says Zayn will never forgive him.

“Don’t apologize Liam.” Zayn says a little harshly and turns to face Liam finally. “I just wish you would have been honest with yourself from the beginning. Could have saved me a whole lot of hurt right now.”

Liam looks at Zayn, the person he’s been with for the last two years and he wants to reach out and hold him, but he knows that he can’t. “You’re right.” He says instead, hoping it gives some sort of comfort.

Zayn turns around again, paces the room some more until he finally settles against the back of the couch.

“I’m going back to the city. In a few weeks.” He says quietly. “I guess that’s one good thing in all of this, I get to go home.”

Liam tries not to let the words offend him. This place is _his_ home, he can’t imagine ever leaving. He’d known that Zayn was never enthusiastic about the move but he didn’t realize how much he hated it.

Liam only nods at him, waiting for him to continue.

“Anyway, I was gonna ask if maybe you could stay with your mom for that time? I know that’s probably not ideal for you, but I don’t really know anyone else here….”

“Of course.” Liam interjects. It’s the least he could do. “And I’ll pay the rent for this month too.”

Zayn nods, accepting his offer of kindness.

It’s awkward now as silence fills the room and Liam wants to tell Zayn that he really did love him. Tell him that he’s a great guy. That someday he’ll find someone that loves him the way that he loves Harry, but he doesn’t say any of that; knows it’s for the best not to say anything at all.

Liam mutters that he should probably go and Zayn agrees. Liam feels like he should give Zayn one last hug goodbye, or tell him he still wants to be friends, but he knows that all of that is unrealistic right now. Maybe someday.

As Liam walks down the steps to his car he hears the door shut behind him and he tries to not let his guilt overtake him.

He heads home. _Home_. Where Harry waits.

At last.

 

\--

 

When Liam gets back it’s around noon and Harry has kept his promise to stay in bed. But, like classic Harry he’s managed to strip down to nothing but his boxers.

“Hi” Liam says shyly, still in disbelief that Harry is actually here again.

Liam wastes no time in throwing his keys to side and jumping on the bed to join Harry. He rakes a hand through his hair softly and stares him right in the eye before leaning in slowly to kiss him gently on his plush lips. Liam’s missed those lips.

Harry pushes him away lightly, and Liam can see there’s hesitation there as he asks Liam what happened. Liam explains that things went better than expected, but it was still awkward and Zayn was upset. Liam tells Harry that Zayn figured out it had to do with Harry.

“So did you tell him everything then?” Harry asks, sitting up a bit straighter and putting an arm gently around Liam’s shoulders. Liam leans into him.

“No, I didn’t want to make things worse. Maybe he doesn’t need to know all the details.”

“Yeah” Harry says quietly, his words softly hitting Liam’s ear as he rubs his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Liam continues, sighing deeply. “Maybe someday he’ll understand. “

Liam sits for a minute, silently bracing himself for what he’s about to ask.

“I told him that I would stay here for a while though, until he gets his things together.” Harry watches, unmoving, and Liam continues, “If you wanted to… you know, stay here with me, you could.”

Liam can’t bear to look Harry in the eyes for fear of his reaction. He doesn’t want to push Harry away again for trying to move too fast. To Liam’s surprise Harry responds quickly.

“I’d love to.”

Harry kisses him again before whispering “or we could get a place together?”

Liam looks at him, his heart aching in his chest. He feels so much relief in this moment. Everything is finally working out the way it’s supposed to.

“Okay.” Liam can’t stop the smile from creeping on his face. “Zayn said he was moving back to city in a few weeks, so hopefully we won’t have to see him around.”

“Good.” Harry laughs. “I’d like to keep my limbs.”

Liam laughs with Harry and jokes that they could just avoid him altogether and stay in bed for the next few weeks. Harry thinks it’s a great plan.

“You know,” Harry continues, trying to keep the conversation light, “My best friend Louis lives in the city. And he’s gonna need a new roommate, Zayn could always move in with him.”

Liam laughs again. “That’s an interesting idea, but somehow I don’t think he would go for that.”

Harry smiles down at Liam, pulling him in tighter.

“But, speaking of this best friend of yours, when do I get to meet him?” Liam asks.

Harry tells Liam that he hasn’t heard from him in a while and is starting to get a little worried.

“Plus I think he still thinks the wedding happened and I kind of need to tell him that plans changed.”

Liam suggests he call him again and as Harry goes to reach for his phone he realizes he left it in the car.

“Ugh,” Harry sighs, moving out of Liam’s space to stand. I should probably go do that. Make sure he’s still alive.

But Liam has other plans and he grabs Harry by the wrist, pulling him back onto the bed with a smallthud.

“You know, maybe you could wait a little longer.” Liam says seductively into Harry’s ear as he moves to press himself gently on top of the younger boy.

“Hmm” Harry mumbles. “You’re probably right.” He leans up and catches Liam’s lips harshly in between his own, picking up where they left off.  “I’m sure he’s just fine.”

 

\--

 

Just like when he was eighteen years old, Harry’s body feels like it’s on fire, the blood is rushing to his head and he can’t quite think straight as he feels the weight of Liam’s body pressing him into the mattress. It’s been ages since they’ve been here and Harry wants to soak up as much of it as he can. Even though he knows it’s going to happen again and again after this he can’t help but want to try and remember _this_ exact moment. It sounds cheesy but deep down he knows it’s the moment that’s gonna put his life back on track.

Harry’s muscles flex under the touch of Liam’s hands that are running up and down along the side of his body, taking advantage of the fact that Harry is already almost completely naked. Harry realizes how unfair this all is and decides that he needs to immediately get Liam undressed too.

He allows his hands to instinctively reach up and grab at the small buttons on Liam’s shirt but in his haze of nerves he finds himself unable to get anywhere and a second later he’s breathing heavily at Liam, _take it off_.

Harry feels a little bit of emptiness when Liam pushes off of Harry slightly, creating space where their chests used to be pressed together, and straddles Harry, staring him right in the eye as he slowly  (painfully) unbuttons them himself. Harry only watches as the material is removed and Liam’s pale, smooth chest is revealed. There’s a little bit of hair running down from his belly button and Harry desperately wants to feel it on his mouth, so he grabs Liam’s sides forcefully and leans up, ducking his head sideways to place his lips on the curve of liam’s rib. Liam moans at the touch as Harry kisses his way up and then down Liam’s chest and stomach intimately.

“God I’ve missed this.” Liam sputters down at him, and at that Harry leans up, fluttering his eyes closed as he brushes their lips together again. It’s barely a kiss because he’s too out of breath and he’s finding it so hard to concentrate right now. All he can think about is how he’s here now, touching Liam like this again.

He grabs at the front of Liam’s pants, fiddles with the button and the zipper until he’s got them down and off and Liam is achingly hard already, which only seems to increase Harry’s own heart rate. He still can’t believe that he’s the cause for this reaction.

It’s been way too long since they’ve been here and Harry is eager to have _more more more_ of him and he shoves his pants further down, Liam sitting up slightly to help.

He still has his boxers on when Harry reaches past the elastic and dips his fingers hesitantly inside and around Liam’s throbbing dick. It’s already wet with precome and Harry wastes no time pulling it out, exposing Liam fully now.

Harry can feel Liam’s hands gripping his shoulders tightly as he bends down to lick tentatively at the head of his cock, making sure flatten his tongue before it licks obscenely over the slit.

Harry’s body is bent a little awkwardly but he barely notices. Feeling Liam in his mouth is one of Harry’s favorite things to do and he knows how to easily bring Liam to climax this way, but he holds off, wanting to take things slow.  He keeps at it for a while and he knows he’s getting closer so he’s not surprised when he feels Liam’s strong hands pushing his shoulders away and back down on the bed.

“If you keep doing that I’m not gonna last.” Liam huffs out quickly and Harry can see the sweat already forming on the edge of his forehead.

Harry smiles up at him, satisfied with him and cheekily replies, “you can touch me then.”

Liam chuckles fondly at Harry and the familiar sound makes something pull at Harry’s heart. The older boy wastes no time as he kisses down Harry’s chest, tongue flicking out at brief moments, drawing Harry further and further in. Harry tries his hardest not to lift his hips from the bed once Liam reaches his boxes, his hot breathe ghosting lightly over the creases on his hips. Liam teases him for a bit, breathing softly on the now wet material before pulling the boxers down slowly, Harry’s hard penis springing flat against his stomach. Harry can’t take his eyes off of Liam as he watches him dart his tongue out and lick a soft stripe all the way up from the base to the tip. Liam’s grip tightens on his left leg and he moves his hand underneath Harry’s knee to push it up higher, spreading him open. Liam places Harry’s leg on his shoulder while he licks back down the length of Harry’s dick and to his balls, circling around each of them extremely slow and sucking them into his mouth. Harry is surprised when he feels Liam’s tongue dip even lower, tracing hotly around the ring of muscle that Harry so desperately needs filled. Harry can tell that Liam is prepping him for what’s to come, getting him extremely wet with saliva and jabbing lightly inside with the tip of his tongue. Liam has never done this before and it’s insanely erotic. Harry can’t help himself from moaning out loud, he wants Liam inside of him so badly.

“Hey,” Harry whispers, barely audible because he’s so out of breath, “kiss me.”

He’s trying to distract Liam because he isn’t sure he can wait much longer and he needs this to happen now.

Liam complies immediately and lets his hands fall on either side of Harry’s shoulders as he leans down to do as he’s told. Harry tries to distract Liam by shoving his tongue deeper into his mouth, licking all around and trapping any sounds that Liam had been making earlier, at the same time reaching around Liam’s waist and finally ripping his boxers all the way off. Then Harry has his hands on Liam’s back, casually trailing lower, his right hand and fingers brushing in between Liam’s cheeks and rubbing softly against Liam’s hole. Liam’s hips buck at the movement and grinds himself roughly against Harry.

Harry would normally have Liam finger him until he’s a little more prepared but he’s tired of waiting at this point and he whines out, “fuck me already” directly into Liam’s mouth before he’s captured in another wet kiss.

“Patience.” Liam drags out, smirking back into it and Harry wants to scream, he’s waited forever for this. He can barely think of anything else and then Liam is leaning their foreheads together, grabbing their hands and intertwining them and teasingly asking if Harry is ready.

Harry mumbles out _more than ever_ and it’s enough to still Liam completely, as if he’s in as much disbelief as Harry that they are actually doing this.

Liam tries to look down between them, to watch what he’s about to do, but Harry jerks his chin back up so that they are staring right at each other. Harry needs to see Liam’s eyes when he enters him, and when it finally happens it’s like a wordless promise in itself; Harry’s breath immediately catching in his throat. Liam presses in so slowly, but there’s no lube and it’s painful but Harry doesn’t care. He wants to feel the pain, remind himself of everything he once lost, of everything that he has now again, refusing to let himself take this for granted.

He cries out in pain and pleasure as Liam rocks into him, his mouth latching to Harry’s neck. Harry wonders if Liam can feel his heart racing though his veins as he licks and bites and kisses along the soft skin there. Harry knows down in his gut that this is the last person he’s ever going to do this with and it edges him on, makes him happier than he ever knew was possible. Harry allows his legs to wrap around Liam’s back tightly, trying his hardest to push him in even closer. Harry thinks to himself how perfectly their bodies seem to fit together at the same time that Liam is whispering against his collarbone how much he loves him.

Liam picks up his pace and they are still holding hands until Liam lets go and strokes against Harry’s cock tightly, rubbing him off to the time of his own pace. The feeling is so intense and Harry finds himself gripping the muscle on Liam’s back as he pounds into him.

The best thing about sex with Liam is that he knows exactly what Harry likes, they learned all of this stuff together. He knows where to touch him and how hard and how fast and he’s the only one that’s ever made Harry come apart like this.

Harry has never understood how some guys hate bottoming because to him, it’s the best feeling in the word. He feels so full and oversensitive and his mind is starting to blank out as Liam’s thrusts get even quicker and deeper. He can tell by Liam’s breathing that he’s getting close and he quickly reaches and arm out to pull his face back up towards his own, catching his lips in a fierce kiss that’s probably too messy and frantic. He knows its Liam’s favorite thing to do right before he comes and the minute he slips his tongue harshly again Liam’s he hears a moan and that’s it; Liam’s load spills hotly inside of him.

He but he doesn’t let go of Harry’s cock  and continues to stroke him through his orgasm. Then Harry is seeing white and his cum is splashing all over Liam’s hand and their stomachs.

“ _Fuck_ Harry.” Liam whimpers desperately as he stares down at Harry, exhausted and limp on the bed below him. “You’re so fucking beautiful I can’t stand it.”

Harry wants to return the compliment but he can’t, he’s too worn out to say anything at all so instead he wraps his arms tightly around Liam and pulls him close, Liam finally allowing himself to collapse on top of him. He’s still inside Harry and it’s not until he feels the small amount of wetness on his shoulder that Harry realizes he’s crying.

Harry internally freaks for minute, rolling them over and to the side. Liam finally pulls out and Harry forces him to look at him.

“What’s wrong?” He asks in a hushed whisper, afraid to hear the answer. Liam sits quietly for a minute, not responding. He then reaches down and grabs Harry’s hand in his own, leans his head forward to press a soft kiss against Harry’s wrist, right on his pulse.

“I’m happy.” he says quietly, smiling. He lays there, silently waiting for Harry to respond.

 _Me too_ Harry thinks to himself, relieved, but he doesn’t say it. Instead he lets his hands trail from Liam’s neck to his arms, down his body, touching him wherever he can reach. He finally grabs Liam’s face in his hands and kisses him all over, whispering his _IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou_ into every inch of his skin.

 

_\--_

 

It’s absolutely impossible for either of them to move after that. They stay in bed all afternoon and it isn’t until later that night that Harry finally manages to go back to his hotel to gather his stuff. Liam wants to get things ready (Harry will even have his own drawer!) so he’s stayed behind and Harry thinks it’s probably for the best, otherwise they’d probably end up in his hotel bed all night instead. Harry’s extremely sore from earlier so he’s walking a bit slower and his mind is still in a bit of a haze, which is why he has to blink a few times when he opens the door and sees _Louis Fucking Tomlinson_ laying on his bed.

“What the fuck are you doing here!?” Harry finds himself almost shouting as Louis jumps from the bed and runs to give his younger friend a hug. “And how did you get in?”

“I told the lady at the desk your room number and said I lost my key. Shit security in this place huh?” Louis laughs, pulling away from Harry slightly and looking him strait in the eye. “And I told you I was gonna come down myself and break up the wedding! Didn’t really account for the fact that I ran out of gas on the way and then my phone freaking died and well… I made quite a mess of things, huh?”

Harry just has to laugh. He’s so very appreciative of his crazy best friend that came all the way down just to be with him in his time of need, except now things have changed drastically and Harry doesn’t exactly know where to begin. “About that…” He starts, but then Louis is cutting him off.

“Did you stop the wedding or what?”

Harry shifts awkwardly, “Well… not exactly.”

And then Harry is ushering Louis to sit and telling him the entire story. (Not without interjections; “I told you all you had to do was kiss him senseless!” and “I knew you looked all sex flushed coming in here!”)

Once Harry manages to get the entire thing out Louis gives another hug and tells him how happy he is for him. He also wants to meet Liam even though he’s a little jealous that he won’t be Harry’s best friend any longer. Harry reassures him that’s not true. Louis was his best friend for the last five years and it’s going to stay that way.

“And someday when I get married, you can be my best man.”

Louis chuckles, “Liam doesn’t have any other exes does he?”

That earns a slap.  

 

\---

 

It’s been two months since Harry has returned home and he’s never been happier in his life.

He walks outside and grabs the “for sale” sign that’s still propped up on the lawn, worn and wet from the rain.

Liam holds the door open for him as he comes inside and tosses it to the ground, kissing him softly on the lips as he passes.

“Feels good to finally get rid of that.” Liam smiles, leading Harry back into their living room. “I hope you don’t mind, I added a few photo’s around the house to make it feel more like home.”

Harry smiles as he looks around, noticing a familiar photograph framed on the mantle. Harry gets closer to it, realizing it’s the same photo he held onto all those years.

“I can’t believe you kept that.” Harry says quietly, still in disbelief at how his life has turned out.

“Of course I did.” Liam says, walking over to his boyfriend and pulling him into his arms.

“Who knew one day we’d end up here?” Harry whispers quietly, capturing Liam with a surprise kiss, lazy and comfortable.

“Me.” he whispers in response, walking them backwards until their backs hit the sofa. “So…” Liam begins, kissing along Harry’s jaw seductively. “Now that my mom’s got her own place and we have this house to ourselves _forever_ , don’t you think it’s necessary to celebrate?”

Harry chuckles softly, nipping at Liam’s ear, “what do you have in mind?”

“I don’t know.” Liam feigns innocence. “How do you feel about christening every room?”

Harry responds by sucking a hickey loudly into Liam’s neck. “Promise?” he jokes sarcastically.

“Okay, okay,” Liam pulls away, but he’s smiling, “I know that word is grossly cheesy and ridiculous to you, but I don’t care. It’s our thing, alright?”

Harry sighs again, “but where did it even come from?”

“You started it!” Liam says adamantly pushing gently against Harry’s chest. “Remember, the day we met you said it to me.”

“I did not.” Harry insists.

“Did too!” He laughs, kissing Harry again.

 “Did not.” He gets out again, now properly feeling like an actual 3rd grader.

“Did too.” Liam fights back, kissing Harry in-between breaths.

As it continues, Harry wonders how Liam could even remember something like that. He’s not sure if it’s true but it seems highly unlikely to him.

Not that it matters anymore.

They both ended up exactly where they were supposed to be.

 

\--

 

_3 rd grader Liam Payne goes to sit at his desk and he notices a curly haired, lanky, new student sitting there instead. Normally Liam would have just sat somewhere else, but the class is full and Liam stands there awkwardly, unsure of what to do._

_“Liam!” The teacher calls out to him, pulling up a chair beside the new kid. “This is Harry, he’s new here. I was hoping you would be his buddy for the day and help him out? Until we get another desk in here do you mind sharing?”_

_Liam nodded his head no, he didn’t mind. Sometimes it sucks being the nice kid in class, the teachers are always volunteering you to do things._

_But Harry is nice enough and as Liam gets to know him he thinks he isn’t so bad._

_The day goes on and Liam finds himself actually enjoying Harry’s presence and he discovers that the two actually have a lot in common. Liam’s always been more on the quiet side, so maybe it’s his luck that he got paired with the new kid. Maybe this is his chance to finally make a real friend._

_Liam tells Harry this later and Harry looks relieved. He says it’s hard being new and no one is nice to you, but Liam is nice and he wants them to be friends. Liam immediately agrees, happy that Harry is in the same boat._

_“Promise you’ll be my friend tomorrow?” Harry asks quietly and Liam thinks it’s the best idea he’s ever heard._

_He smiles and scoots his chair just a little bit closer._

_“Promise.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT READ AND COMMENTED OR LEFT KUDOS, IT REALLY MEANS A LOT AND MAKES ME WANT TO KEEP WRITING.
> 
> For those that felt bad for Zayn, I AM SO SORRY I felt terrible hurting him too, but I didnt want to go the predictable route and make him a villian. I AM planning a sequal (ziall) for him, so if you want him to get a happy ending you'll have to see what happens in that fic. I will write get started on that soon! I have a great idea for that one, lets just hope it comes out well. haha.
> 
> I hope the ending wasn't too rushed and was satisfying to you guys, let me know what you think... good or bad, I am curious to know!


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